Tough Loving

How many of you remember this song; “Love me jeje, love me tender, you are my sugar, my honey my tender lover, if you say you love me I go stay forever” *insert beats, and start dancing butterfly* oops sorry I got carried away for a moment.  See how love is supposed to be jeje and tender and oh so sweet. It’s a good thing to be in love, to love and be loved.

Sadly a lot of people have a misconstrued idea of what love is and how one should be loved. I have heard lots and lots of stories about men beating, bashing, smashing, boxing and pounding their wives and girlfriends. These men una no get shame? Go and find your mate/size and try to pound him. I always say any man who lays his hands on a woman is a coward, a spineless, gutless, ball-less man who needs to re-validate his manhood by hitting on a weaker person.

The Countless joys of Motherhood

This post was supposed to be up on Mother’s day but unfortunately, baby+ terrible internet service won’t let this blog be. The month of March is basically dedicated to women and mothers; guys sorry but we rule the world. This was my first Mother’s day celebration as a mother, not easy at all *fans self, finds out fan isn’t enough, puts on AC, chai they have taken light as usual*.

I remember after having my baby, I asked my Mom; “how did you do it?” Having all 5 of us, coping with our antics and been there personally for each of us. To my Mom,  my No. 1 mentor, my pillar I love you more with each passing day.

Pet Peeves

This post is inspired by Ebony Life TV’s The Spot, a talk show hosted by Ebuka (hot guy), Zainab (my female crush if I would admit having one) and Lamide. There is this segment where they state their pet peeves, these is like something small that is annoying to you. So I decided since I can’t get on the show yet (maybe someday I will) to state my pet peeves I can as well state them here and hear about yours too. I probably have a habit that is a pet peeve to someone out there. I know one of my sister’s pet peeves is punctuations, she always calls me or chats me up and say, go and edit your posts you got the punctuations a bit off, so now I make a conscious effort to go through my post before publishing.

So let’s go

1.       Mixing up English words that are pronounced same way but with different spellings and meanings for example; cease/seize, there/their, grateful/greatful (this is actually not a word but people still use it), where/were, thread/tread. Some people would just mix everything up; “Lord, I am so greatful”, I want to cease this opportunity”. Ahn, Kilode! If in doubt always use a dictionary, download the app it’s free.

Stereotyping; the tribal ish

I sometimes get into this situation where I introduce myself and the person asks where I am from. Although my name should give you an idea as I bear my native name but let’s sha forgive them.  I reply Akwa Ibom State and sometimes, there are like 3 reactions.

Scenario 1.

But you don’t look like them, you don’t even speak like them. Me: *blank stare* what do they look like? Or how do they speak? Guy: *stammering* you know na, with hand gesticulations they say; “most of them are short na” Me: have you met all of them or most of them?

The wife and the cheating husband

There are some men (emphasis on some) who can cheat for Africa. People say African men are polygamous in nature; Scratch that all men and it seems as though it is socially acceptable for men to cheat, society doesn’t ask questions. Infact you would be seeing public officers openly displaying their infidelity like kilode. Wives are used to their men pursuing small girls even underage girls like a headless chicken. I have even heard stories of men spending their wedding eve with their side chick and leaving her bed straight to Church to get married to the main babe, maka why?

These chronic cheats do it without shame, they are not even hiding it sef, if dem no fear and respect their wives at least make them fear God.

To snoop or not to snoop

Sometime ago I dated this guy who I am sorry to say wasn’t quite faithful (putting it mildly). We had one of our numerous break up to make up sessions and in the slow process of making up, he went on holiday. We were ought to have gone together but I didn’t have leave days so he supposedly went “alone”, during the trip he called me as usual and gave me updates.

Fast forward to when Bros got back, I went to see him as per better girlfriend, he showed me pictures from the trip and I noticed something was missing, the pictures weren’t quite complete. I swooped into detective mode; Private Investigator, CIA, FBI all rolled into one.

Oh No.. the Big Three-Oh

I know a lot of people who just turned 30 either last year or this year and you know after the initial excitement, you realize; shoot I am getting young. It's no more the fast paced, fun filled  20s, S**t just got serious.

So being the nice person that I am *flutters eyelids* I have put together a list of things that I try to apply myself, its not easy but its a step at a time.

1. Have an intimate relationship with God.

 Not just the sunday sunday I dey go church thing. get active in church, have that connection with God take out time each day to commune with your Creator , be more conversant with the scriptures. I know everyone inserts this line in their list of new year resolutions but this time actually do it.

2. Be charitable:

Give Give Give. They say the hands of the giver is always on top. Donate to a worthy cause. Adopt a charity it could be a motherless home, cancer foundation, sickle cell foundation girl child initiative, education, there are a lot of them. Even if you don't have money you could donate your time, volunteer at some organisations. you could decide to teach free in a local school or even something as little as helping these kids with their homework.

Women, Success and Marriage

Sometimes I wonder if everyone is destined to get married, find your missing rib, soul-mate or the supposed love of your life. What happens to the people who never find that soul mate? does it mean they would spend their whole life in complete misery?

I have had conversations with people or say with a classmate I have not seen in probably over 5 or 10 years and you know how gists go before you know it you are talking about your classmates not gossiping oh, I don't gossip *inserts straight face emoji*. Anyway as we were gossiping  talking the person asks have you heard from Aisha? you say oh Aisha, she is now a big girl works at a big multinational now, they just made her branch head last year and she jets around the world for meetings, training's and stuff. the next question you hear is... Is she married? You say No. hmmm cased dismissed or you hear all these things she is doing does not mean anything na, she should go get married or its cos of too much money that's why she scares men away.

Happy Valentine's Day

Yay!!! Its the day we all have been waiting for. Happy Valentine day to my esteemed Blog visitors, you keep me going everyday. You are all my virtual loves even though sometimes you don't like commenting but I love you all the same. Have some cupcakes on me please.

So did anyone wake up to some cute valentine day surprise?  You can share at the end of the day, and I might just tell you how mine went too as the day is still unfolding. 

Don't forget to love someone today, it could be a stranger it doesn't matter, spread the love and give...

Peace, love and cupcakes...


Koko

Photo credit: Callinamarie

Nigerians, and minding their business or NOT

How many times have you been tempted to scream at someone be it friend, acquaintance, relative and most frequently a perfect stranger; MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!!!

Ahn Ahn! can't Nigerians mind their business? Na curse? Anywhere you go someone's nose is all up in your biz. 

 I am a first time Mom and just recently had my baby, from when I was pregnant and showing the comments and advise started; don't you think this jeans is too tight for you? Should you be wearing covered shoes? Why don't you wear slippers let the blood flow. 

It got worse when I gave birth, of course I had to go out and couldn't leave him at home. Every where I went; Is this baby not too small to come out with?  fine baby, see plenty hair, you are not holding him well, hold his neck well, he is not wearing a cap. Even heard; Why are you bringing out OUR baby na isn't he too young? Huh? Our what? You follow me inside labour room?

Fun things to do on Valentine day

Lots of people say Valentine's day is over rated, you should show love everyday not just on February 14th yea I agree with that notion but I also believe we should set aside a day to be extra lovey dovey with plenty red roses and heart shaped everything in red. This year's valentine falls on a weekend and we don't have any excuse what so ever to have a dull valentine, except for the single ones. Maybe I should do a post of what to do on Val's day when you are single.

I have a list of things to do on this extra special weekend.

1. Spend the weekend indoors.

Yes you read that, spend it indoors, pull out all the stops make it a special one. An added advantage is you get to avoid the over crowded restaurants especially as Nigerian restaurants don't think much about reservations. Have a candle lit dinner at home, prepare your partners favorite food, 3 course meal, wine, champagne,chocolates,  soft music and roses. If you can't cook you can hire a personal chef that would add to the overall effizy sef. Give each other massage and watch a romantic movie together. 

Stop Child Abuse

An incident happened in my compound today which makes me ask a lot of questions. To cut a long story short, it involved our temporal security man harboring a run away domestic staff for 5 nights. the surprising and sad fact is the girl is just 12 year old. when caught he wanted to deny that he never let her into the house but for the fact I had seen the girl leave the gate house the day before. Needless to say he has of course slept with her. As at this moment the security guy is MIA. Took hubby's bicycle with him, you can imagine.

 Her guardian abi Boss came to the house with a man from the State Ministry of Education,he  wanted to press charges but decided against it. On looking at the guardian I had the suspicion that he has been molesting this girl and she ran away cos her "Madam" was beating her, this was evident by the marks on her body.

This got me thinking;

Why shouldn't the minimum age for domestic staff be at least 16?

Who protects the vulnerable girl child?

Why is sexual molestation always hushed?

Why has it become ok for a 12 year old to indulge in sexual acts?

Is the government doing something towards all of these?

Say NO to Child abuse, sexual molestation and domestic violence.

Peace, love and cupcakes...


Koko

Photo credit: Huffington Post, Pinterest;the lifelong effect of child abuse

Travel Destination of the Week: The Maldives

The Maldives gives me these dreamy feel, I need to rush down there and disconnect from the world. I must make these money oh!

The Maldives has deep blue seas, turquoise reefs, white sandy beaches and palm trees. It is also a place full of character, where its people have long spent their days languishing in the very essence of idyll living. 

While it is the perfect place to sit on a beach and watch a sunset with a cocktail balanced on your hand, it is also a geographical marvel, knowing that there are thousands of fish swimming around the vivid corals just a few feet away from where you sit.

Valentine Gift Ideas for Him

Valentine's day is around the corner and like most ladies myself included, we always get confused or rather have no idea on what to get the man in our lives for Valentine. My major worry also included finance. I always wanted to get something he would appreciate and get all excited about but most times these things are expensive or above budget. but you know they say its the thought that counts. 

This year ladies lets say NO to just been on the receiving end or gifting singlets and boxers lets give our men something they would love. So I am suggesting some gift ideas that would totally rock and are budget friendly too.

1.  PlayStation 4 Console. 

Top of the list would be the PlayStation 4 Console, trust me he would go totally crazy over this. You can purchase a bundle which comes with a game or a voucher for a game. You can get this for about N92,000 on Konga.com


2. Tom Ford Signature Fragrance

Any signature fragrance from Tom Ford would do, make him smell like a million dollars. 
Tom Ford perfumes retail from N21,000 and above.

My very first post

Welcome to Words by Koko, *drum rolls* . Thank you for stopping by, I hope this blog becomes your blog of choice and I promise to keep you entertained and informed. Basically I would be focused on travel, lifestyle, weddings and anything I can throw in. If there is any topic you want to me to address don't hesitate to let me know. This would be an exciting journey I promise you.

Right now in Nigeria, everyone is buzzing about the elections. Have you all gotten your Permanent Voters Cards? Are you voting and who is your candidate of choice? Please vote, say no to rigging and together a little step at a time we can build the Nigeria of our dreams.

Valentine day is this weekend, my prayer is may we all have a boo this valentine. If you have none please let me know maybe we fit organise something abi someone.

That's all for now, please tell someone to tell someone to follow this blog and your life would never remain the same again. Amen!!!

Peace, love and cupcakes...

Koko

Photo source:www.keepcalmandposters.com