Tuesday, 7 April 2015

Tough Loving

How many of you remember this song; “Love me jeje, love me tender, you are my sugar, my honey my tender lover, if you say you love me I go stay forever” *insert beats, and start dancing butterfly* oops sorry I got carried away for a moment.  See how love is supposed to be jeje and tender and oh so sweet. It’s a good thing to be in love, to love and be loved.

Sadly a lot of people have a misconstrued idea of what love is and how one should be loved. I have heard lots and lots of stories about men beating, bashing, smashing, boxing and pounding their wives and girlfriends. These men una no get shame? Go and find your mate/size and try to pound him. I always say any man who lays his hands on a woman is a coward, a spineless, gutless, ball-less man who needs to re-validate his manhood by hitting on a weaker person.

The funny thing is you would think the men who beat their wives are uneducated, or broke people maybe they don’t know any better, but na lie oh! These men might even have Phd from Harvard sef and they would be there acting like cavemen.

Hmm one day I was home all day as I took the day off work, was just chilling oh then I heard it; GBOM! Bang! My landlord screaming; “I would kill you today, you this woman” the wife was screaming and crying, “Please, I am sorry, don’t kill me oh! E ma binu! The man was just beating her, she would run here and there, doors were just banging open and shut, finally she locked herself in a room and “Hulk Hogan” could not get in. I was like, Huh? Is this what this couple do to pass time when they think nobody is home? I didn’t go to separate hmm Husband and wife matter them no dey put mouth plus the guy fit be like my papa mate.   

You hear different stories every day, see fine babe one guy would just be using her to practice for WWE World Heavyweight Championship. There are the guys who would quietly lock the door, turn on loud music and then the pounding, kicking and punching would begin. Some men don’t work so the wives fund their lifestyle, they still cheat on their wives and then to top it up the beat the woman too.

My issue today is not with the men, they would answer to their creator, it’s with the women, the victims of this violence. I always say the day a man would raise his hand in an attempt to hit me, just attempt oh not even the main deal that’s the last he would see of me, as in for this my small body where you wan beat? The moment you come fully into yourself and begin to see yourself as a beautiful, special and unique creation, as the temple of the Lord, an independent and self-confident lady who doesn’t need a man to define her that’s when you can walk and never look back.

But seriously, I don’t get it, a man that is not God, not your father just a boyfriend, common boyfriend or husband would just be beating you and you would be chopping that kain of beating, you won’t think of leaving.

You would hear the babes say, “but I love him so much na, he usually apologises he is not really himself when he does it, he would change, it’s my fault I did something to upset him, me sef my mouth no good na me cause am.” News flash ladies; he would not change, if he hit you once he would definitely hit you again and again until one day God forbid it’s your corpse that would leave the house and then after 3 or 6 months he would remarry. Your ghost no go fit come slap am, na only for Nollywood movie that one dey work.

Let’s hear your views, do you have any stories about domestic violence that you would like to share? Maybe something that happened to your neighbor’s sister’s cousin friend. What’s your opinion on these man beat wife issues? Lets hear it please.
Sharing is caring, please don’t forget to share.

Kisses, hugs and cupcakes,


Photo credit: National mirror online


  1. What of women that beat up their husbands?

    1. Yea, domestic violence swings both ways, some women are harsh, I can imagine a woman beating up a man and he would just be crying lol

  2. It doesn't even have to be a beating, abuse can be psychological too. I imagine it would be a difficult decision to make for the victim as like you said, most times the abuser is a regular person who may have a kind side. Tough one.

    1. Psychological abuse is just as bad, making the other person feel he or she isn't good enough.

  3. I know a man that used his nails to crave a ditch underneath the eyes of his wife. The story she told outside was that she was splitting wood when it flipped up and left a mark on her eye. How realistic right?
    I have not been a victim but have seen a lot of it. Guys and girls are easy targets for domestic violence but with the perspective of the females, those I have come across take the heat because they have children and other are just psychologically misplaced as they enjoy when they are constantly hit by a man. some even instigate the punching affair.

    1. Hmm that lady better be careful before he kills or does permanent damage to her. Yes most people claim to stay cos of the children but I always wonder if the children would be happy and comfortable with that decision when they are grown and their Mom is permanently scarred or even God forbid late cos of the abuse.

  4. Excuses, excuses, these babes need their heads rebooted back to factory settings.....

    thinking of the coming weekend......

    1. Lol! They really need rebooting. The weekend is finally here, hope you are going out to vote?

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  6. Hi Koko, howdy? No new post? No pressure! LOL!!

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  7. Iniobong, most of the time the women behave cowardly by igniting anger or insulting men. we are all humans and should love in a way that does not hurt.

    234 Jam Blog

  8. I love this write up. have been a victim and i did what I had to do. I have a story and I will like to share with you. please check it out here.


  9. Hiya!! Just checking up on you. You've been missing in action. Not seen you anywhere in blogville - SDK etc. Hope you and yours are all ok......