Tough Loving

How many of you remember this song; “Love me jeje, love me tender, you are my sugar, my honey my tender lover, if you say you love me I go stay forever” *insert beats, and start dancing butterfly* oops sorry I got carried away for a moment.  See how love is supposed to be jeje and tender and oh so sweet. It’s a good thing to be in love, to love and be loved.

Sadly a lot of people have a misconstrued idea of what love is and how one should be loved. I have heard lots and lots of stories about men beating, bashing, smashing, boxing and pounding their wives and girlfriends. These men una no get shame? Go and find your mate/size and try to pound him. I always say any man who lays his hands on a woman is a coward, a spineless, gutless, ball-less man who needs to re-validate his manhood by hitting on a weaker person.

The funny thing is you would think the men who beat their wives are uneducated, or broke people maybe they don’t know any better, but na lie oh! These men might even have Phd from Harvard sef and they would be there acting like cavemen.

Hmm one day I was home all day as I took the day off work, was just chilling oh then I heard it; GBOM! Bang! My landlord screaming; “I would kill you today, you this woman” the wife was screaming and crying, “Please, I am sorry, don’t kill me oh! E ma binu! The man was just beating her, she would run here and there, doors were just banging open and shut, finally she locked herself in a room and “Hulk Hogan” could not get in. I was like, Huh? Is this what this couple do to pass time when they think nobody is home? I didn’t go to separate hmm Husband and wife matter them no dey put mouth plus the guy fit be like my papa mate.   

You hear different stories every day, see fine babe one guy would just be using her to practice for WWE World Heavyweight Championship. There are the guys who would quietly lock the door, turn on loud music and then the pounding, kicking and punching would begin. Some men don’t work so the wives fund their lifestyle, they still cheat on their wives and then to top it up the beat the woman too.

My issue today is not with the men, they would answer to their creator, it’s with the women, the victims of this violence. I always say the day a man would raise his hand in an attempt to hit me, just attempt oh not even the main deal that’s the last he would see of me, as in for this my small body where you wan beat? The moment you come fully into yourself and begin to see yourself as a beautiful, special and unique creation, as the temple of the Lord, an independent and self-confident lady who doesn’t need a man to define her that’s when you can walk and never look back.

But seriously, I don’t get it, a man that is not God, not your father just a boyfriend, common boyfriend or husband would just be beating you and you would be chopping that kain of beating, you won’t think of leaving.

You would hear the babes say, “but I love him so much na, he usually apologises he is not really himself when he does it, he would change, it’s my fault I did something to upset him, me sef my mouth no good na me cause am.” News flash ladies; he would not change, if he hit you once he would definitely hit you again and again until one day God forbid it’s your corpse that would leave the house and then after 3 or 6 months he would remarry. Your ghost no go fit come slap am, na only for Nollywood movie that one dey work.

Let’s hear your views, do you have any stories about domestic violence that you would like to share? Maybe something that happened to your neighbor’s sister’s cousin friend. What’s your opinion on these man beat wife issues? Lets hear it please.

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Kisses, hugs and cupcakes,

Koko

Photo credit: National mirror online